Speaker, confidence coach and podcast presenter Nancy Haines is drawing attention to what she sees as a rising loss of individuality and self-belief across the UK.
Research indicates that social media comparison is strongly associated with escalating anxiety levels, contributing to reduced well-being and personal fulfilment.
Nancy started out in HR in Los Angeles before relocating to Dubai, where she experienced the impact of cultural adjustment on personal identity.
“When I moved abroad, I completely lost my identity,” she said. “Like many expatriates, I muted myself to belong. On the outside, I appeared successful, but inside I felt completely disconnected from who I really was.”
Working in HR, Nancy regularly met professional women who felt overwhelmed by perfectionism and the need to conform. These conversations inspired her to create The Center of Confidence in Dubai in 2017. Now living in London, she continues her mission through one-to-one coaching, speaking engagements and her podcast, The Art of Being You, where she champions individuality.
Recent research highlights the urgency of her message.
The Dove Self Esteem Project has found that over half of young people worldwide do not feel good about the way they look, with social media amplifying these pressures.
In the UK,
ONS figures showed that average ratings of personal well-being have declined across all measures in the year ending March 2023, with life satisfaction down to 7.45 out of 10 and anxiety increasing to 3.23 out of 10. While this may not seem significant, it translates to only 52% of the population experiencing life satisfaction, for example, or 35 million people in the UK. Women report higher levels of anxiety than men, with over a quarter affected compared with one in five men.
“We die a thousand little deaths by comparison on social media,” Nancy said. “We are living up to what influencers tell us we should like or want, and in the process we forget what we actually value. Are we truly living, or are we just buying things, ticking boxes, and then thinking, ‘now what?’”
Nancy points to cultural examples that highlight the importance of authenticity and self-discovery, such as Victoria Beckham’s new Netflix documentary. In it, Victoria shares how her Spice Girls bandmates helped her feel confident in her own skin and how she instils that same message in her daughter, Harper. Despite personal and business setbacks, Victoria made a deliberate reset to be more authentic in her work and life, relying on both emotional and financial support from David Beckham while ensuring her creativity and identity remained central.
“Victoria’s story shows that true confidence comes from knowing who you are and being willing to follow your own path, even when it is difficult,” Nancy added. “Society says it values individuality, but it still rewards sameness. Real confidence is not about being louder or more polished, it is about being real. When you stop comparing, you stop performing. That is when fulfilment begins.”
